Here is a great article worth a read
By Zig Ziglar, author of Born to Win
We truly live in a hurry-hurry world, and in this day of two-working-parent families there is never enough time to do the things we want and need to do. One of those want-to/need-to do things is to spend more time with our children. Unfortunately, time constraints make it easier for us to automatically respond with a “no” when our children ask for little things. Solution: In an article published in “Better Families,” Dr. Kay Kuzma offers some practical approaches we can use. She suggests we can say “yes” on many of those occasions and it’s more effective because it also teaches valuable lessons. For example, the child might ask, “Am I going to get to watch my favorite television show tonight?” This gives parents a chance to say, “Yes, as soon as you have dried the dishes and put them away,” or “Yes, as soon as you have called Sally and apologized for your behavior this afternoon.”
This approach changes you in the child’s eyes from being a person who wants to deny him or her a pleasure to a parent who is interested in helping that child perform in a better, more mature way. The teenager might ask to use the car the next morning to run a few errands and go to the park. You can say, “Yes, as soon as you wash it and if you will stop by the service station and fill it with gas on your way home.” This way you’re teaching your child responsibility. You’re saying yes to a reasonable request and you’re also displaying a sense of trust in them.
Dr. Kuzma also points out that when a child says, “May I have dessert?”, instead of the automatic “no,” you can simply say, “Yes, as soon as you have finished your salad or vegetables.” This way you are attaching a small reward to a fulfilled responsibility. The child ends up with the temporary pleasure and some long-term benefits. Practice Dr. Kuzma’s suggestions, and I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!